When Every Moment Becomes a Gift

I fell asleep last night again feeling sorry for myself that right now I'm not officially working.

It's been a back-and-forth battle to remember identity and significance aren't found in a job or anything else, and how quickly discontentment creeps in.

As I've been refocusing and thinking this morning, remembering how important, especially for me personally, it is to choose to be content and be thankful in the moment and live in the present tense, God's seemed to clarify in my mind that joy and peace are found in Him, the Life giver, if we accept. God gives, but it's up to us to "get", because all that God offers, even to be made alive in Christ, can be rejected; we can not have joy, not have peace, if we choose not to {John 14:1}.

I think back to my single years and how impatient I was for being married one day, and I realize now that I wasn't struggling with single vs. married so much as with contentment. I sometimes wondered, what if God is waiting until I don't wish I wasn't single anymore before He brings along that great man He wants me to marry? And right now I have sometimes wondered, similarly, what if God is waiting until I don't wish I wasn't jobless anymore before He brings along another job? But really, this is all wrong. Because God is not conniving, or manipulative, and He doesn't try to rig life so that we surrender to Him or become more like Him. Because it's just convincing myself that right now isn't good enough, that once x happens it will be "all good", that there's better to come, as if God is holding out on us, as if He is not lavish toward us. Because it's a lie that this moment, and this life right now, is unimportant or not a good gift or not able to be lived to the glory of God.

The truth is, God is good all the time, and God in His sovereign grace really does know what is best for us, and God has a plan for each of us, and His plan includes right now.

So what if this—this current "situation" or "in between", as I call it since it doesn't align with how I think life should play out—is what God planned all along, and is His plan, and is what He wants? And maybe this is part of the meaning of learning to be content in any situation because every situation is part of His plan, and His Life. Because ultimately when we don't accept the life that He's given us to live here and now, we choose not to receive the Life {joy, peace...} that Christ offers.

I want to choose joy and peace, even now when things aren't what I planned. I want to choose to be thankful, and to be content. I don't want to miss a moment of this life He's given, and what moment am I waiting for if not this moment? I want to live remembering every moment is grace, a gift, from God.

"In the end, everyone ends up at the length of their lives — but only a few live the whole width of a life."
      ~ Ann Voskamp

2 comments :

  1. This is what God as been teaching me lately and I feel as though it's relevant:

    "If you're approaching Him not as the goal but as a road, not as the end but as a means, you're not really approaching Him at all." - C.S. Lewis

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So true. It seems so simple on paper, doesn't it? :) Thanks for sharing!

      Delete