I Left My Shoes at Work

Yesterday I hung up my apron.

There had been more drama, poor management, and stress-inducing weeks at work than was worth it, and over the last month all led to my decision to leave the job. And, despite how that sounds simply reading over words, there truly was more to the situation than just a few place-holding descriptors and more to the decision than just a few bad days.

Being married {to a man who takes his role of providing for our family very seriously}, versus out on my own, made this decision tough and even weird. I felt like I was on a sinking ship, but I didn't want to "quit", and I didn't want to just be lazy or give up. Still, the number of my coworkers who just walked out in the last couple months gave some indication of how things were on a major downward spiral, especially compared to how it had been {I had virtually stopped looking for something different because I was content with and enjoying my work, even if every once in a while I had to tell someone I had a non-career type job}. I was torn between abandoning ship or sticking it out regardless of how stressful it was and because of the fact that if I was on my own, I would never consider resigning before having another job lined up.

I went back and forth, back and forth in my head over the alternatives, the rationales, the outcomes.

I talked with my best friend, with others, and with God.

Eventually it came to a point of exhaustion, not getting a clear sense at all of what to do, and the realization that sometimes there isn't always a right or wrong answer to every question, and I just needed to make a decision and go with it because otherwise I'd continue wearing myself out just mulling it over and not getting anywhere. And I knew God would provide either way and give peace.

So I gave my two weeks' notice, despite having the evil urge to really make a statement by just walking out.

Yesterday was my last day. I left my uniform and old, ratty work shoes in the break room, taped up a farewell note to my coworkers, and said goodbye to the two second shifters and bruises and burns.

I don't know what happens next.

All I know is this: He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart {Is. 40}.

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