Plan

It's hard for me not to want things to go my way, and if they don't, I've realized over the years how easily frustrated and/or worried I can become and how quickly I stop trusting . . . like a few weeks ago, for instance. Classes weren't lining up how I planned, and my natural response wasn't exactly to trust God, pray, and talk about it at first. But I realized, yet again, that trust was the best response, even if it wasn't necessarily easy. And I've been able to entrust school to God the past week and a half, and have felt peace about whatever happens.

God has answered prayer about spring classes. A new section of one class was opened, and I was close to the top of the wait list for it, so by the end of last week I had two classes registered. I asked my advisor to change my status from on-campus to online in order to prevent this mess from happening again, and this actually made it possible for me to register (as I consider "normally") for open sections of the two other classes I needed, rather than wait and see if I'd get in with being wait listed. Suffice it to say, I am now registered for four classes, as I had planned. I'm really thankful about that. :)

But I still am learning to trust . . .

The class schedule for summer semester was published this morning. And none of the classes that fit with my program emphases are being offered. I almost didn't believe it. God, I thought, I really want to complete my Bachelor's this summer, and I thought that was a good goal, and it seemed like it was going to work out because You answered prayers about being able to get into classes this spring and now I'll only need two more classes. Now what?

Part of me wants to have a good long cry, and part of me wants to go punch a wall. (Never mind that crying and violence are rare and nonexistent, respectively, occurrences.) I feel as if my goal of graduating this summer has just been thrown in my face.

Well, God, there's a lot of prayer coming Your way. I'm praying somehow You'll work in this situation so that I can still graduate. 

I know God has a plan . . .

It is better than my goals no matter how great they seem to me.

Yet, I'm praying above all that You'll work in this heart so that I can trust You no matter what. 

And even already I know God knows this heart-tension, and He cares. Like, enough to know that a quick phone call this afternoon would majorly encourage me and remind me that school is just school, even if that's going to take some work to fully acknowledge.

This is just one of those many times in life upon which I'll eventually look back and be able to see how You were at work . . . because You are faithful forever, and You are good, and all You do is good.

And I know God is in control.

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