Plan (2)

I have been thinking a lot this past week about how I view God's will. Through a lot of different things, I've been realizing how self-centered my view is, in the sense that I like God's will if it seems to coincide with mine but get pretty anxious if it doesn't. It's easy to pray for God's will to be done when it appears that it will result or is resulting in how I would like things to turn out, when I'm praying for something and God answers with a "yes".

But it's not so easy to really genuinely pray "Thy will be done" when I'm not sure of the outcome.

I am really glad God worked in the class situation for this spring semester and that I got into the classes I needed after all, and, as a result, I didn't lose my scholarship (yes, that was another facet of my wanting a full-time schedule). But I didn't like the thought of God having other plans for me this summer. It was hard to pray that He would work in the situation so that I could graduate in August, because I knew I couldn't pray solely for that if I was truly going to pray for whatever His plan was. I had to pray for His will, not His-will-aligned-to-my-own.

God gave me peace at the same time He was convicting my heart.

I know it wasn't coincidence that the Advent sermon this past Sunday was on peace, or that I heard it twice because I was playing the piano, or that I was really encouraged by one simple, yet profound verse:
You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.
      ~ Isaiah 26:3
There's a connection between focusing on Christ, trusting Him, and being kept in perfect peace.

With conviction came re-focus and the enabling to trust, and peace . . . the kind that is beyond understanding, only from God. And God gave me the ability, too, to pray for His will, whatever the outcome.

Earlier this week I got an answer to prayer. My advisor updated my audit, and as it turns out, I only need six total credits after this spring (more specifically, only four upper-level credits, including my one-credit capstone class and a three-credit elective, and then two credits at any level). I had also been looking at the summer class offerings again, and I am not sure if more classes were added or I just missed some in searching specifically for classes I had in my tentative-possibilities list, but I "discovered" a handful of online classes that would fit my program emphases. Also, my advisor mentioned doing a two-credit internship if I was interested, and I have been praying about and looking into that possibility, as well. To make a long story short, graduation in August is no longer out of the picture. And almost as if God wanted me to know He thinks this whole I-really-want-to-finish-college idea is alright, I received my graduation application in the mail today. :)

Once again, God has answered more prayers with "yes", and I am thankful. Yet, I think in the interim He used the initial unknowing and wondering (and, to be honest, worrying) to continue working in my heart and mind to be reminded that ultimately He is in control and His will is best. I am thankful for this answer to prayer, too. Though for some reason I have a vague feeling trust is something I'll be learning the rest of my life, it is reassuring to know God is always faithful and He is a God of grace . . . and peace.

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