Half-empty

I am officially halfway done with this semester's classes.

I have several projects for my online Creative Writing class, as well as discussion board for my other online class, but my exams for my two traditional classes were today . . . and they are over.

I have a love-hate relationship with the end of the semester. I love the excitement of having so much to do, but working extra hard at it, because there isn't much longer until you'll get a legit break. I love the feeling of accomplishment as you finish one thing after another. I love the closure.

But I hate it, too. I hate knowing that another semester over and done with is one step closer to something else, but I don't know what. I hate knowing that I'll have a feeling of purposelessness without school and homework and studying to fill up the time. I hate the silence.

But I love it, too. I love being able to sit and do nothing. I love being able to draw all day long, watch movies all day long, bake all morning long then go to the library and read in my favorite corner all afternoon, play piano for hours on end . . . without feeling guilty. I love being able to spend time with my family. I love being able to go Christmas shopping, play in the snow, listen to the radio, go to my church.

Life is such an oxymoron in general, isn't it?

It's so easy to look at something two different ways. Half-empty? Or half-full? And it's not just circumstance by circumstance -- sometimes it's day by day that our perceptions change. We wake up "on the wrong side of the bed" or we wake up with a light, fluttery heart that nothing can depress. Feelings are fickle.

Right now I feel excited and terrified simultaneously. I am excited for Christmas break at home, but terrified for what lies beyond.

Like I said: it's a love-hate relationship when it comes to the end of the semester.

No comments :

Post a Comment